There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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