i may or may not be watching the land before time
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
