if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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