now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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