meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
