she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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