You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
