You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
