The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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