I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
