you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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