Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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