if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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