i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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