i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
