jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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