is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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