That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
