So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
