margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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