so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
