Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
