This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
