I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize