he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
