Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
