you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
