the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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