I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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