to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
