Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he thought i was a dude.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
