I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
