she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
