Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
