she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
