i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
