he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
