new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need moral support for this bender
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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