I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
