You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
