His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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