1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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