Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize