he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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