morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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