my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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