perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize