He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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