k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
