Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
