either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
