Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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