Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
