he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
