He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
