All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
