I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
