well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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