Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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