Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
