Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You work out of a Hotel?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
