i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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