She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize