i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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