i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize