I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
